dorkward.

Masters in criminology.  Y/N?

Maybe the fact that Asians are taking up all the spots in selective schools and universities has less to do with ‘coaching’ and ‘unfair advantages’ and more to do with the fact that I can walk into my local library at 5pm on a Friday afternoon and find that all 18 patrons are Asian.

This bloke I haven’t spoken to in literally years has messaged me over facebook all like ‘hey wanna get drinks and catch up’ even though I met him literally once.  And I don’t drink.

On one hand, he could be a really cool new friend.  On the other hand, I’ve been told that I’m too trusting.  But we have two mutual friends, and I’d like other people to be open to me when I put myself out there and try to strengthen friendships…

i’m grumpy because my family didn’t purchase tickets to opening night of the collection of monologues i’m featured in and now it might be sold out

I’m really super proud of all my friends right now.  Winning MMA fights, having videos go viral, founding theatre collectives and putting on shows, developing short films.  Everyone’s all so grown up and doing things.

I constantly worry that people are only nice to me because they’re too polite to tell me I’m not wanted.

Once I was sitting with a bunch of white people talking about racism and culture and they’re all nodding like ‘yes casual racism is so bad we totally understand’.  And then one of them turns to me and is like ‘so where are you from?’ and when I said ‘uh, from Sydney’ they were like ‘no I mean your background’.  I kind of laughed awkwardly because we were literally right in the middle of a conversation about that sort of thing, and said ‘well my parents are from Singapore’ like I always do.  Then they seemed to realise what they had said because immediately they were like ‘I’m sorry I didn’t mean it like that - no it’s not okay - that was really bad, I’m sorry.  But you’re from Singapore?’

Last night I dreamt that there were explosions in America.  I was watching it on the news and everyone was really hoping it was an accident but pretty sure it was not.  Thankfully fatalities were relatively low.  

This morning I woke up to news of the Boston explosions.

I’m going to start taking my dreams more seriously.

I loved Alysia when she first appeared.  Not only was her personality great (friendly, a badarse batweilder, looks out for her friends), she’s Asian, from Singapore, her mum makes the best laksa, and her name is very similar to mine.  So we’re pretty much the same person.  She could be a sister at least.

Now that she’s come come out as transgender (which is more than a little awesome) I still love her, but I worry that people are now pigeon-holing her as ‘that transgender character’.  She is so much more than that.  I really hope to see more of her in coming issues.

(Maybe she becomes Bat-Girl!)

I’m not allowed to eat and it’s really harshing my buzz.

Lined up the rest of my week with medical tests.

Apparently the medicine fixing my brain is destroying my bones and kidneys, and the medicine that would fix my bones would destroy my kidneys quicker.

Whatever.  I’m a modern medical miracle - all my doctors say so.

Dreamt that it was April Fool’s Day and my mum convinced my family that it was actually New Year’s.  

Woke up and remembered that it actually is April Fool’s Day today, and also found out that people used to celebrate the New Year on April 1.  Apparently when it got changed to Jan 1 people who celebrated on April 1 got made fun of.

Yet more evidence pointing toward my clairvoyance.

Today I hid 40 000 Easter eggs.

Well, technically my section only had around 3 000 eggs, but the whole hunt had about 40 000 in total.  After the hunt I walked around for the rest of the day with a box of extra eggs, giving them out to kids who didn’t get any.

Oh the lies children tell when you’re giving out chocolate.  Also, it’s distressing how many parents picked up eggs during the hunt.  And got very rude when you told them to stop.  Ugh, people.  Way to turn a fun activity for kids into an exercise in greed.

(Everyone still had fun though.)

I’m feeling a deep sense of disgruntled dissatisfaction that I cannot pin.